Q&A: Caregiver Bill of Rights

Every Sunday, Cancer Services publishes a Cancer Q&A in the Health Section of The Baton Rouge Advocate.

Q: My sister has been diagnosed with cancer and I am her sole caregiver. I find myself being short with her and other people more and more and then I feel guilty about it. Is this normal?

A: It is normal for caregivers to experience feelings of guilt, fatigue, and irritation. It is important for caregivers to pay attention to their own feelings and needs. The National Cancer Institute suggests referring to the following while caring for a loved one.

Caregiver's Bill of Rights:

• I have the right to take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishness. It will give me the ability to take better care of my loved one.
• I have the right to seek help from others even though my loved one may object. I know the limits of my own endurance and strength.
• I have the right to maintain parts of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if he were healthy. I know that I do everything that I reasonably can do for this person. I have the right to do some things just for myself.
• I have the right to get angry, be depressed, and express difficult feelings once in a while.
• I have the right to reject any attempt by my loved one to make me do things out of guilt or anger, (It doesn't matter if she knows that she is doing it or not).
• I have the right to get consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do for my loved one, as I offer these in return.
• I have the right to take pride in what I'm doing. And I have the right to applaud the courage it has taken to meet the needs of my loved one.
• I have the right to protect my individuality. I also have the right to a life that will sustain me in times when my loved one no longer needs my full-time help.

The Caregiver Support Group at Cancer Services meets the second Friday of every month at noon. Anyone caring for a loved one, no matter the ailment, is encouraged to attend to help better take care of themselves. Call Natalie at 225-927-2273 if you’d like more information.

For more information contact Courtney Britton, librarian at Cancer Services of Greater Baton Rouge at (225) 927-2273 or visit the Resource Center at 550 Lobdell Avenue.

Putting Your Own Mask on First: Caregiver Appreciation

Caregivers of cancer survivors, or those coping with any illness or disability, face unique challenges and often struggle with taking care of themselves as well as their loved one. Esther Sachse, LCSW, Director of Support Programs at Cancer Services of Greater Baton Rouge, equates their situation to the familiar safety drills on airplanes: “When the oxygen masks drop down, you have to put your own mask on before you help others. It’s the same with care-giving, it’s so important for caregivers to take care of themselves well before they can best help their loved ones.”

On February 10^th, Cancer Services took a step in caring for the caregivers by hosting an appreciation luncheon to honor and celebrate all that they do. LSU School of Social Work professor Dr. Scott Wilks, who specializes in caregiver research, spoke and answered questions at the luncheon. This prompted many of the 36 attendees to share their own stories. One woman shared how hard it was to let the nurse they hired actually take over some of the care-giving responsibilities for her husband. Another explained the guilt that comes after feeling frustrated with her loved one, because sometimes even the best caregiver can get aggravated. Fellow caregivers nodded in agreement, empathizing over their shared situation.

Another commented how nice it was to have people just to call and check in, explaining, “Sometimes as a caregiver you need an ear, someone to listen to you.” That’s why the Caregiver Support Group at Cancer Services meets the second Friday of every month at noon. Anyone caring for a loved one, no matter the ailment, is encouraged to attend to help better take care of themselves. Call Natalie at 225-927-2273 if you’d like more information.

Q&A: Caregiving During the Holidays

Every Sunday, Cancer Services publishes a Cancer Q&A in the Health Section of The Advocate.

Q: My husband is battling cancer and I’m not sure how to handle this during the holiday season. What can I do to make it better for him?

A: First of all, you are already showing your willingness to support him just by inquiring. Here are some ideas for caregivers when caring for someone during the holidays:

• Understand if your loved one is not feeling in the mood to celebrate
• Be supportive of your loved one’s feelings
• Be a good listener
• Keep an eye on your loved one – if your loved one can’t get up or doesn’t get out of bed, this could be a sign of depression
• If your loved one always enjoyed holidays, then offer to decorate for them
• If your loved one wants to send out cards, offer to help address envelopes
• Discuss the holidays in advance
• Make sure the food /smell is not something that would cause nausea
• Don’t compare holidays
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your friends, family, and neighbors
• Consider talking to a counselor to help you get through what can be a very stressful time.
• Continue healthy eating and exercise

For more information contact Courtney Britton, librarian at Cancer Services of Greater Baton Rouge at 225-927-2273 or visit the Resource Center at 550 Lobdell Avenue.
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Breast Cancer Survivorship Luncheon a Success

On September 19^th, over 60 breast cancer survivors* gathered at Cancer Services to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Held in partnership with Woman’s Hospital, the attendees enjoyed lunch and the company of fellow survivors, caregivers, family and friends.

The Breast Cancer Support Group meets every month but with the help of Woman’s, October’s meeting was larger and even more celebratory than usual, giving the opportunity to reach out to many new clients. Attendees ranged from currently in treatment to two weeks outs of treatment to thirty years out of treatment.

Breast cancer survivor and Cancer Services volunteer Sandra Cristal helped plan the event and was pleased with the huge turnout. “This is a cause that’s important to me and it was wonderful so many showed up – the room was almost too small!”

Adult Programs Coordinator Natalie Depp added, “This was a great opportunity to show that at our support groups we don’t just talk about problems and sad emotions but share friendships and celebrate where our clients are in their cancer journey.”

The Breast Cancer Support Group meets the third Wednesday every month at 11:30 at Cancer Services. For more information about this or any of our support groups, click here or call Natalie at 225-927-2273.

*Cancer Services defines a “cancer survivor” as anyone living with cancer, from the moment of diagnosis for the rest of their life.